It's been my first time

struggling with death in my family. I've never had anyone close to me pass away. I never thought I would be affected this much by the death of my grandfather. The worst part is, he hasn't even left this world yet. He's still hanging on. For now, I've been trying to think positive. To not let it get to me like it has. I should have been celebrating his life when he was so close to death. He's still lingering, he just wants to go in peace. They say he has around three weeks to live now. I wish that I had more time with him, but I was glad I got to say "I love you." to him over the phone. I know I won't be able to see him before he passes, but it meant so much to me to hear his voice. I know he will be greatly missed.


L-R: myself, my grandfather,
my grandmother, and my brother in 2005.

I can't help staring into your eyes.

It reassures me. When I look into your beautiful eyes, I just know. I know that everything is alright. I can see how happy you are, how happy we are. When you stare back at me, I can't help but smile. "Where have you been all my life?" is a question I've asked myself over and over. I'm just so glad that I've finally found you. I know that you're always going to be here for me, when I need you the most. You know I'll do the same, always. I'm not going anywhere, because I have a reason to keep me here. You're my other half. My soulmate. We're like pieces of a puzzle. When our lips meet, its absolutely wonderful. Our hands fit perfectly together.



I'm so in love with you, Ashlee Conover. I've never felt so sure about anything or anyone in my life like the way I feel about you. I asked you stay forever, and you said yes without hesitation. I've finally found love. And I am finally alive.

she is happy when she is with me,

and i am finally alive.

It feels like...

I've spent a lifetime searching for you.
Now that I've found you, I'm never letting go.
If you ask me to stay forever, I'll say yes without hesitation.

I'm not going anywhere.

This is what I want, to be with you. I'm sticking around, and I'm so excited for us. I'm scared, but you already know why. This risk is worth taking. I trust you so much already. I'm so comfortable around you. I see great things happening for us. <3

Sincerely,

you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I know it's way too early to start saying things like that, but I can't help how I feel. This feeling is so strong, and I don't want it to ever go away. I know you feel the same way.

And we all return to our roots

I made my tattoo appointment yesterday, I shall be getting inked on the 7th of April. I'm pretty excited, though I'm not going to be able to get exactly what I had envisioned. I'm going to go simple and just get an outline of IL heart a heart shaded in red where Peoria is located. If I included the script then it would have looked terrible. Too much clutter for too small of an area. If i want to incorporate the lyrics later in a different area I could possibly do that, but for now I'm just going to leave it as is. It's only going to cost $75, plus tip so it'll be $100 even. That's not bad at all, and I can always add to it if I want. In less than two weeks, I'll be inked. I'm pretty excited. (: